Summary:
Very
early in this memoir, Dr. Sandeep Jauhar refers to an essay Sachin Jain and
Christine Cassel published in JAMA (2010) that categorizes physicians as
knights, knaves, or pawns. His take: “Knights are motivated by virtue…Knaves
are selfish…Pawns are passive.” (p.7) Jauhar rides into medical practice as a
knight in shining armor on a white horse after years and years of training. Would
he be able to hang onto his knighthood?
The
book is divided into three parts—Ambition, Asperity, Adjustment—bookended by an
introduction and epilogue. Jauhar’s disillusionment with American health care
is his primary theme, and it connects these three parts:
As a young adult I believed that the world was
accommodating, that it would indulge my ambitions. In middle age, reality
overwhelms that faith. You see the constraints and corruption. Your desires
give way to pragmatism. The conviction that anything is possible is essentially
gone. (pp.
5-6)
Jauhar
is comprehensive and unsparing in accounting for the sources of his
disillusionment and his fall from knighthood. He was vulnerable to
disillusionment from the start having been pushed by his parents in into
medicine against his desires. His mother “wanted her children to become doctors
so people would stand when we walked into the room,” (p. 21) and his father
said that in medicine he “would have respect, wealth, and influence.” (p.133)
He put off medical school for as long as he could by first getting a PhD in
experimental physics. Finally, 19 years after first starting college he became
a practicing cardiologist, though not without almost bailing out of medical
school for a career in journalism as he writes in his first memoir,
Intern (annotated
here).
Jauhar's
first position was as a hospital staff member heading up a heart failure unit.
As hospital staff he wasn’t paid as much as physicians in private practice.
This differential wasn’t a problem by itself, but because the salary was
insufficient for the lifestyle he sought and his wife—a physician also—urged
him to provide, “I want nice things for us: a home, safe cars, good schools. They
may seem trivial to you, but they are not to me.” (p. 75) This pressure was
made worse by his older brother earning twice the income while working at the
same hospital as an interventional cardiologist, and as well by all the other
physicians in private practice who lived in big houses and drove fancy cars.
The
story then veers into a period when he sheds his knighthood for knavery. Jahaur
joins a pharmaceutical company speaker bureau that supports a particular
product and quits over his concern that the product may have been more toxic
than first thought. Guided by his brother who says, “As much as we hate to
admit it, patients are a commodity,” (p. 92) He takes positions with various
private physician practices that operate more like procedure mills than health
care providers.
Jauhar does not do well as a knave, realizing
“I had made a Faustian bargain. Having my eyes opened to the reality of
contemporary medical practice had been painful. Now I had to make a choice.
Continuing on this path was leading to ruin.” (p. 257) And so he tells of his
adjustment, which for him is finding an “uneasy equilibrium” (p. 258) by
continuing to work with private practices, just not as much, and spending more time with his family. Thus, in the end, Jauhar does not a return to full
knighthood and becomes something closer to a knight with knavish tendencies or
a knave with knight-like qualities.
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